TriumphAnt

RIP Mr Arafat…

But c’mon everybody, ‘fess up, because it can’t be just me, surely. (“Yes it can, and don’t call me Shirley.”)

Every new story I heard or read about the endlessly drawn-out but inevitable passing of Yasser Arafat brought to mind (i) the never-say-die sequence in Peter Sellers’ “The Party”. As Indian actor Hrundi V Bakshi, he plays a movie scene in which he’s a pseudo “Gunga Din” bugler and just plain refuses to die, eventually attracting the sustained rifle fire of his own troops in an effort to shut down the ever more pathetic bleats from his bugle.

Or (ii) (so sue me) – even more often, I recalled:

“Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Scene 2

‘Bring out your dead!'
[thud]
[clang]
CART MASTER:
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[cough cough...]
[clang]
[...cough cough]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead! Ninepence.
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out...
[clang]
...your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!

CUSTOMER:
Here's one.
CART MASTER:
Ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:
What?
CUSTOMER:
Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:
'Ere. He says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER:
Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not!
CART MASTER:
He isn't?
CUSTOMER:
Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER:
No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
CART MASTER:
Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON:
I don't want to go on the cart!
CUSTOMER:
Oh, don't be such a baby.
CART MASTER:
I can't take him.
DEAD PERSON:
I feel fine!
CUSTOMER:
Well, do us a favour.
CART MASTER:
I can't.
CUSTOMER:
Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
CART MASTER:
No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER:
Well, when's your next round?
CART MASTER:
Thursday.
DEAD PERSON:
I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER:
You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: [singing]
I feel happy. I feel happy.
[whonk!]
CUSTOMER:
Ah, thanks very much.
CART MASTER:
Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER:
Right. All right.”

But in all seriousness, I think it’s wholly appropriate tonight to quote William Holden who, in an early scene in The Bridge on the River Kwai, after having just buried Corporal Herbert Thompson, another victim of the Japanese prison camp’s many diseases, suspended his sarcasm just long enough to say: “For the greater glory of... (pause) What did he die for?... I don't mock the grave or the man. May he rest in peace. He found little enough of it while he was alive.”