TriumphAnt

Just for closure* on the story of the UNB’s atrocious treatment of the blind would-be English immersion student and his unilingual guide dog, Pavot. I was so moved by the tale (wagged, you might say), that the following spilled from my pen:

* It was either this or bring in the grief counsellors.

(You are required to recall the music to the late Jim Croce’s signature tune, “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown”.)

Well the South side of New Brunswick
Is home to U-N-B
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a place where the French dogs pee

Now Pavot's more than trouble
You see, he stand about two foot four
All those down-town bitches
Call him big black lover
All the boy-dogs call him Sir

{Refrain}
And he's bad, bad Pavot black
Baddest dog in the whole damn pack
Bad enough to bark francais
But even meaner when he growls anglais

Now Pavot, he's a guide dog
And he likes his harness lead
And he likes to wear
His INCA vest
(Just don’t say C-N-I-B!)

He's got a master with a white cane
Who's got a Braille guide in his hand
He's got a yen to learn
how to speak “Hainglish”
But that don’t mean Pavot can

{Refrain}
And he's bad, bad Pavot black
Baddest dog in the whole damn pack
Bad enough to bark francais
But even meaner when he growls anglais

Well, Friday 'bout a week ago
Pavot went to Registry Hall
And at the door to the U
When they heard, “Allez mon chou”
They told him “Go back to St Paul”

Well, they found out that a blind guy
With a big black friendly pup
Knows how to make the best
Of a sympathetic press
That’ll lap this stuff right up.

{Refrain}
But he's bad, bad Pavot black
Baddest dog in the whole damn pack
Bad enough to bark francais
But even meaner when he growls anglais

Well, those two sides took to fightin'
And when they got into the news
Pavot looked like
a saint in black
And the U looked like dog-pooped shoes.

Cause he's bad, bad Pavot black
Baddest dog in the whole damn pack
Bad enough to bark francais
But even meaner when he growls anglais

Yeah, he was bad enough to bark francais
But even meaner when he growls anglais

Fin

- - - - - - -

And I can’t resist leaving the very last word on this to a University of Ottawa law professor who is either dryly brilliant (my guess) or accidentally hilarious. The Globe and Mail wrapped it up on their July 8th front page and buried deep in their story was the following short paragraph:

"Prof. McIntyre, a law professor and director of the Human Rights Research and Education Centre at the University of Ottawa, questioned the university's argument that it was compromising the success of its English-immersion program. 'That sounds pretty dogmatic to me.'"